Updated: Oct 31, 2019
One of the most important parts of the information that I feel inspired to share these days is how to take care of your energy field. In this post, I am going to bring up an important topic: How we have our energy siphoned during daily life. Conversely, it also draws attention to how our actions are inadvertently draining to those around us. Awareness of how our energy bodies are influenced by others, as well as how we influence and affect those of the people around us, is our responsibility. It is an important part of empowerment and self-checking. When we figure these dynamics out, we are able to enjoy balanced and understanding social relationships.
Please take note that if you are a person who finds yourself in any of these behaviour patterns: I am not here to speak down to anyone or make any person feel poorly. In writing this, I am hoping to bring attention to these subtle ways that energy works. I have participated in a lot of these behaviours myself over the years. I share here with love and not judgement.
Emails and messaging
One of the main ways that energy drain happens in day to day life is through emails and messaging. We know the office context conversation of immediacy, which I will bookend in order to extend into the realm of energy. When you are great at holding space and have a field that helps people feel comfortable and understood, there is a high probability that you will be reached out to during trying times. This can be a wonderful role to occupy for the people around you. Who would not want that?
It also, however, can be extremely difficult. As we become more energy aware, we recognize that we process the ripples of information and expression that comes through emailing. When you are an energy processor like many of us are, we clear and align naturally. When we read these emails, we are shifting the energy for the writer. Sometimes, requiring a great deal of heavy lifting ourselves. One of the reasons people feel great after speaking to us or writing to us is because we do this. In essence, we are giving them an energy alignment without it being acknowledged.
Sometimes, like during gateway moments or when a person feels nervous, they tend to reach out through emails and messaging.They feel soothed, calmed, and connected and like they are gaining 'control' through writing these emails. What they do not sometimes realize, is that writing excessive questions to people, sending long and detailed messages and expecting responses of equal detail, or requiring ongoing and constant communication drains their energy. These people are likely not aware that their drive to desire contact is rooted in seeking an energy boost.
*Some people prefer to communicate by email. What I am saying here can be applied to voice conversations for those who experience the waves that way more specifically.
Please note: In my version of communication, a numbered email with concise sentences is a joy to receive. That way I can make sure I am getting to the general themes and we stay nice and organized!!!! There are more and more times where I cannot email at all because I am so sensitive I can feel your everything. This is when I am full everything for earth. Please be understanding!*
What can we do to help ourselves in these situations?
In the case of people who may identify themselves in this behaviour, I want to highlight that communication is healthy. This is not about being ashamed to share how we feel or in any way a suggestion to mute that. If there is something important to you to share about and you know it is emotionally laden/that you are processing a lot, giving yourself the opportunity to write an email or letter to yourself expressing precisely what you feel is a great way to begin taking ownership of your energy. It also helps get thoughts to paper, which can then be edited later if you do choose to send that communication along.
Taking the time to do yoga, meditate, dance, and take a round of answering our own questions are great ways to help shift that energy and empower ourselves. Google is a powerful tool. Websites like mine are tabbed and linked and there are information sessions carefully crafted for people to read in these instances.
For those who are finding themselves receiving these messages or noticing energy drain in this manner, stating boundaries works well. Giving yourself time and space to do communication that works for your field is totally acceptable. Important, even. In my case, I do not do a lot of emailing. When I get the long messages, I explain my boundaries and why I have them. It is not always well received. I do get called names and put down for asserting my boundaries and I know that others experience the same. To me, that is a clear show that consideration of my energy needs are not being brought into the situation which makes it unbalanced. This in turn, shows me that I am doing exactly the right thing. Maybe after sharing this post, it will be better understood!
Needing to Keep the Conversation Going:
Another subtle way that we drain energy and have our energy drained is the concept that we have to have things finished and or wrapped up and or the last word phenomenon. Many people feel like not getting an answer 'right now' or wrapping things up as they feel is necessary is a way of being disrespected or as an act being incomplete. So, they push for answers. (I used to do this one a lot.) There are also other times where a person may just keep digging/pushing for attention because they do not respect being told now is not a great time and/or I am finished.
What I have learned over the years is that a lot of the time, the behaviour of needing to keep the conversation going/having the last word has a lot to do with control. By focusing on our own need for that 'completion' what we sometimes do is fail to recognize the need of other people we are conversing with have for 'space'. We do not all process at the same rate or in the same way. While for some of us getting that answer lets us 'rest', what winds up happening is that we can inadvertently push people into the energy of stepping back from us indefinitely. Another version of this that can also occur is keeping people 'on the hook'. Sometimes, we avoid things and facing truth or uncomfortable situations by not interacting at all. We 'ghost' people, or we leave them believing that there will be some form of ongoing communication if we just wait long enough. If you have no intent on speaking to a person, tell them. Then leave it.
What Can We Do to Help Ourselves in These Situations
As a person who used to be an answer pusher and is now a space taker, I can say that I think it is important to take into account the multitude of dynamics that go on in interaction. When we interact with people, it is important for all parties to be considered. The needs of one person are not more important than those of another. Part of our work in learning to love one another is learning these dynamics and being prepared to put them into play as we interact.
Over time, we do get to know ourselves and our loved ones. We see how they work through things. We see them deal with other conflicts and uncomfortable situations. When we are conscious friends, family members, and lovers, we take learning these factors as important. That helps us understand what they require (and perhaps some of their actions) in difficult situations. It is our responsibility to treat the people in our lives with respect whilst also maintaining our own boundaries. Having that knowledge of self and others and cultivating behaviours to create the space for all parties to be respected is important. Letting people know where we stand in a respectful way whilst also keeping those boundaries intact helps everyone find their balance in a situation.
Feeling Worried or Nervous About Something:
Sometimes, when we love people we get worried about them. We think about them, their circumstances, and what is going to happen to them. Ever have that nervousness about a child on an airplane? Yup, that is a great example of what I mean, here.
When we worry, what we are doing is placing our concern onto and into the energy field of what we are thinking about. We build it. This can not only create obstacles for the people we love and care about, it also seriously drains us.
Over the course of the years, I have seen this worry and concern be used as justification for intervening in energy fields of people without consent. What I mean by that is that some people will use their worry as a reason to go into your energy body and adjust it. Without your knowledge. This creates SO many problems because consent is thrown out the window and actions are motivated in fear.
Working from feelings of anything less than love and in any conditions other than full consent is damaging. Do not allow your strong emotions be a reason that you feel the need to energetically intervene. Having a conversation with the person can be a great way to put your mind and heart at ease.
What Can We Do In These Situations?
For one thing, go inward. See where the fear or need to have these excessive energy is coming from and align it. When we are compulsively thinking about something, that is a great sign that we have something that we can work on. Perhaps that fear of the plane ride is rooted in a karmic incident. Taking what we show ourselves emotionally as an opening point is a great way to learn in our day to day lives!
I am also a fan of asking people if they would like to receive blessings of highest vibrational alignment. In this case, the love we feel for them can be applied. We can use these great skills we are cultivating to support our families, friends, and community.
Asking For an Email Reading or Asking Psychic Advice via Messenger and Outside of Sacred Space:
This is one that I share about gently and return to the statement about no judgement.
A huge way that people in our community do the energy taking is through the expectation of energy readings and reaching out to ask 'one quick question' that winds up being incredibly detailed and personal. (This is markedly different than an inquiry about where to get andaras or for general recommendations.)
When a person writes with the expectation of getting support, they often extend a 'cord' or way to 'connect' with the field for energy. When a reader opens the email and gets through it, in some fields that is considered consent to connect the cord. (IT IS NOT.) That cord then seeks around the field of the person whose information they are seeking, looking for a way to 'connect'. This often happens in the heart or solar plexus. The result of this is energy sucking/siphoning in many instances. Being mindful of this is our own personal responsibility.
Another dynamic of this is the skill level required to provide such advice. To hone in on a person, their question, and the proper answer takes skill, time, and energy. Especially when the person being asked to provide that answer do not know them and have not had any prior contact. In addition to the sacred process of finding and aligning connection, there is also then the expectation of a written and detailed email response. This brings us back to point 1.
What Can We Do to Help Ourselves in These Situations
As a person sharing advice and information, how much you choose to participate in this activity is up to you. Find where is comfortable for you and stick with it. I tend to stay away from it because I do not give my best advice unless in sacred soul connection. Speaking with integrity matters and if I am not at my best, I am definitely not going to give out information. That is part of my showing honour to all who come with questions.
As a person seeking this advice, I welcome you to value the experience and process that comes into play for a person to provide the answers you seek. If you are on a budget, you are not excluded. Most practitioners have created huge programs of online material that is open access. Myself included. In making videos and writing articles, we are creating a library that anyone can access as they require. Many of us also host group calls and create spaces for ongoing communication. Show up at them! Be heard! Ask your questions and participate! All the while doing so with honour to the space holder and information source you are seeking connection with. Doing that also opens the space up for people to honour and recognize you for your skills, too. Energy flows in many ways.
Doing the Best We Can and Sharing Respect
Navigating energy and communication dynamics can be weird. One of the main reasons that energy sensitive people wind up going into their shells is that they are experiencing and participating in all of the above listed examples and more! Part of the joy of the ascension process is figuring out that making small tweaks like saying no and taking care of your auric can dramatically improve your day to day experience.
This is also part of our responsibility. Learning to be mindful of how we influence and affect other people with our actions is just as important as learning about ourselves. Loving and balanced relationships are based on respect. That includes for energy fields.
We know that our social relationships require transition. Each of us can look inward and see moments where we have likely done all of the above (and more). Returning to the notion that this is not about blame or guilt, I encourage us all to have the courage to recognize and change our behaviours that hurt us and separate us from others. For many, doing exactly that is a pretty central to our reasons for being here!
If you would like to learn more about the dynamics of exchange and interaction, and how to do acts like take care of your energy body, please check out this brand new learning package that I created! It has tools and practices for your now moment (and that I consider bedrocks of having fun with ascension). There is lots of program information listed on site for you to read through should you like to know more: https://indicrowacademy.thinkific.com/courses/every-day-energy-tools-for-enjoyment-and-flow. (Those supporting me, please let me know if you would like access to this or other programs!! I say it all the time and remind us again. I appreciate you.)
In loving co-creation,
In loving co-creation,